As a child of 7 or 9 or so, I attempted to gain entry in to the sacred scrolls on several occasions. Alas, the world pogo-ing record of 112 hours 13 min and 33 seconds seemed well within reach in theory, but despite repeated attempts on early suburban mornings, my personal best constantly fell short by about 111-hours and change.

Being a realist, I understood that I could never match the piano-sized coffin weight of 1069 of Robert Earl Hughes. People thought that was the Lou Gehrig record of the book, but just as Cal Ripken, Jr., inexpensive high-fructose corn syrup and supersized meals allowed Hambone to set the new record at 1273. But Billy and Benny Mcguire being the fattest siblings at 743 and 717 respectively seemed like a reasonable goal, not to mention the mini-bikes that would come with the record, but 2 weeks into the bacon and butter regimen, my sister started asking questions, and I was thwarted yet again.

Hulahooping was and is a mystery to me. I am a chronic fingernail biter, and besides, India has dominated that category for decades, and I had half digested my Schwinn Stingray when I learned that the Guinness folks were no longer accepting records of that kind.
Eventually, I discovered masturbation and my Guinness Book of World Records dream was shelved along with my Superbowl ring, and my guest hosting of the Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson.

But with the recent commencement of my 4th decade, and the corolary decline in my masturbation frequency, in conjunction with the two near misses by my beloved Philadelphia Eagles, and the nostalgic tone of country music songwriters everywhere, has chartered a couple recent trips back to that dusty shelf. And on one particularly late, if not particularly sober, night, i done comed up wit this idea.

Hey. I wonder if my adult career, of folksinger (such as it is) could somehow entwine with my childhood dream career as professional spokesman for Guinness Book of World Records (stupid idea/physical freakishness division)

and the answer is.....

Yes.

Do you think I would've put up a website if the answer was no?

Anyway, beginning on August 3 and ending 51 days later, i will do something no other solo performer has ever lacked the good sense to do.
I will play 50 folk music shows, in 50 states, in 50 days.
I will limit myself to one show per day, cause playing 4 shows in Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont and Massachusetts and then taking the weekend off would be a puss move.

Anyway, I wanna invite you onboard. Whether you are a fan of mine or folk music (or the fat minibike twins) or a corporation desperately in need of writing something off before the end of the fiscal year, or a venue or just somebody who cant help but stare at a train wreck, there is something here for you in these 50 days. I assure you.

Below, you will find out how you can help make my ridiculous dream come oh so true. Because without your help, I might be the first guy to play 36 shows in 32 states in 74 days. And really, that's hardly worth giving up masturbation. Don't you think?

Here is the itinerary as it stands at this moment in time.
and also be sure to read the "fan sponsorship" section. Cause I need help like Christopher Reeve and FDR at the top of the Philadelphia Art Museum